to Jesus, the Healer

i have not spoken with You for a long time - i have not been busy, only distracted. please heal our relationship. may we be best friends. may i not be legalistic, but real. thank You for Your precious promises - may i not lose hope in them. may i not be vain nor pitiful nor bitter nor too sweet. please heal my hurt and allow my wound to have time to heal - may they never be reopened. may i be beautiful. take away my ugliness. may i be strong in every way. may i not be rash or impulsive.
please forgive me and give me the grace to forgive others.
i am hurt - i have no words. please heal my heart.
may the Holy Spirit speak my unutterable longings for me.

to Jesus Who is more:

i do not know what it is that is wrong - with me, with my relationship with You. I do not know how to correct the problem. is it something i am doing or not doing? please, God, You can fix the problem - please make what is wrong right.

please give me energy and rest. forgive me for my sins. lead us not into temptation.

i want more.

to Jesus, the breath within me:

God, i need Your help to get throught this life, more than that - You are the breath within me. You are my sustenance. You hold me together. You are my Maker and my Sustainer. that being said, i need You to sustain me now, to hold me together now. i know that i need You to do this all the time, but it seems that i need You to hold me tighter now.

may i be healthy. may i not be afraid.

to Jesus Who fills me:

give me the strength to do all that is required of me and more. may i become stronger. may i continue to grow. o that You would bless me, indeed! what is it that i want? only You know, but i would trade everything for it. this unspeakable longing! this idea that even when everything is perfect, everything is terribly wrong! these ideas are always in my mind - even when I am distracted. am i discontent? or am i not too easily pleased? must i wait a lifetime until these ideas are resolved in my mind? must i always be so empty?